There is an old quote that says, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” It has been attributed to Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain and several others, but I couldn’t find anybody who could say for sure where it came from. The thing is, most of us have heard it, and from what I can tell, most of us assume it is pretty profound.
I’m not so sure. It sounds good on the surface, but I’ve been thinking lately that it might actually be bad advice. What is it saying, really? It says that people may already think you’re a fool. Shut up and don’t make it worse. The advice is intended to silence you, to take away your voice, to prevent you from sharing your ideas and making your mark on the world.
The quote implies, “Everyone else—they have it all together. They see through you and know you don’t know anything but they tolerate you because you don’t get in the way. Everyone else—they know what they’re doing. You’re lucky to be hanging out with them. Just shut your pie-hole and don’t muck things up. You’re living on the ragged edge as it is.”
Do you see the problem? Why should everyone else’s opinion control you? If you’re an average person, at least half of the “everyone else” should shut their mouths and listen to you. Think about it. To all of the people in that group of “everyone else,” you are one of the “everyone else.” Can it be true that you should be afraid of their opinion of you while they are simultaneously afraid of your opinion of them?
Would you really tell someone that they should just shut their trap in fear of what you might think of them? Well, okay—to some of them you would. But, if you’re honest, most of the time you’re not thinking of them at all. Am I right? So turn it around. What are the chances that others are really paying that much attention to you? And so what if they are?
What advice would you give to someone who wanted to share an idea? Would you tell them they’d better keep quiet? Or would you tell them to heed Ms. Frizzle’s advice and, “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy”? I hope you’d advise the latter. So, why should you take different advice for yourself?
The quote arises from an attitude of fear: fear of how you look to other people, fear of the prestige you might lose. That alone is cause enough to toss the maxim on the scrap heap as far as I’m concerned. But what if you’re not a fool? Then fear is a thief. What if you really have something to contribute? If you remain silent, you rob us all of the benefit of your knowledge and the creative spark of your genius. What if you’re not smart enough to put all of the pieces together by yourself but your idea can crack the door open for other people to run through, bringing their knowledge and talents to bear on the problem and hastening the solution? It is said that Archimedes had his “Eureka” moment while sitting in the bath. What if your simple, dumb little idea is just such a catalyst for someone else? Should you withhold it just because you’re afraid of what they might think?
This suggests that there may even be a moral duty to engage in conversations with other people, to share ideas and to open yourself up to possible ridicule. Yet, duty to others is not the best reason you should open up. You should also be thinking about yourself.
Do you know everything? No? But your try, right? You’ve read, you’ve studied, you’ve thought deeply about things. You’ve done all you can to discover everything about a subject. Then, how do you find out what you still don’t know? You can’t just ask, “What don’t I know?” There is no way anyone could answer that question.
There is only one way to uncover those missing pieces. You have to tell someone, “This is what I know,” then let them explain what it is that you’re missing. When you approach the world with an open, teachable attitude, only then will those missing pieces reveal themselves. If you cover yourself in fear, you not only hide yourself from scrutiny, but you hide yourself from opportunity and growth.
Anyway, that’s what I think. You can probably see what a load of crap this is. You probably learned this stuff when you were still in diapers and you’re just rolling your eyes thinking, “How is it this guy is just now figuring this out?” Yeah, I feel like a fool, but that’s okay. I’m actually hoping you’ll tell me I’m wrong. Show me the huge mistake I’m making. Ridicule me for not grasping the obvious. Why? Because I want to get better. I want to be smarter. Getting things right is way more important than looking like I already know everything. At least it is when I’m not letting fear rule my life.
So, let’s rephrase the quote and turn it into words to improve ourselves by. Maybe it should read like this…
“Better to open your mouth and have your weakness revealed than to remain silent and continue in foolishness, ignorance and error.”
How dumb is that?